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As you’d expect from a second-world country, the Philippines lacks many of the labor protections that Americans take for granted.

When it comes to girls you date who have jobs (particularly teenage girls), most of them are working twelve hours a day, six days a week.

The Philippines is one of the few countries on Earth where abortion is illegal, thanks to the efforts of the Catholic Church, meaning a slip-up in the baby department means pain for you. The ones who wear them are girls who’ve spent some time outside the country and have absorbed some of the culture of wherever they went (read: they were riding the cock carousel until their labias turned blue).

It’s nowhere to play with men is the last minute meeting change-up.

It goes like this: you’ll start texting her, she’ll agree to meet you at place X, but then an hour before you meet, she’ll suddenly text you asking to meet at place Y instead because it’s “closer.” This is despite the fact that she had no problem meeting you at place X the night before.

For example, the first time a girl tried this on me, we had agreed to meet at a coffeeshop that was just up the street from my house in downtown Davao.

Not an hour before our date, after I’d already arrived at the mall where the shop was, I get a text from her asking if we can meet at this other mall that happens to be closer to her house…

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